Is MORE of God Random or Radical?

A devotional I was reading ended with this prayer:

"Lord, not more people, but more of You. Let me wait upon You, keep me faithful, send Your Holy Spirit. If You then send growth as well, I'll thank You and see it as an added blessing. Amen."

This particular prayer took me into so many random thoughts that I felt like my tiny brain was going to explode. There is so much going on right now and then... This prayer...

My randomness today begins with wanting to just jump up and agree with this type of prayer. How beautiful, simple but yet so intimate. More of YOU LORD, fill me to overflow!

As I mutter those words a small voice in my own head asks --> Has this become another cliche prayer? Do we really understand what we are praying for? Do I know? Or does it feel good praying it?

I'm quickly reminded of what the presence of God has done through out scripture:

At the Temple dedication

-- More of God? What if it means being paralyzed with awe?

Isaiah in the presence of the LORD cried "Woe to me!" and "I am ruined!" (Isa 6)

-- More of God? What if it means realizing how insignificant I am in His Presence?

At Mount Sinai when God showed up they trembled with fear and said "do not have God speak to us or we will die." (Ex 20)

-- More of God? What if it means death?

To ask God for more of Him is absolutely radical. It goes beyond a random thought or a feel good experience. When we intentionally make this request we begin to get a little glimpse of Him.

It's this glimpse that makes us cry out, desire, plead for more. The amazing part is that the more of Him we receive the More of Him we have to give or there won't be enough room for more of Him...

So then I say more of YOU LORD!! Paralyze me, Crush me, Kill me if YOU must but fill me with More of YOU!

Randomness of God

Today my Random thought revolves around my life. But then again I guess all of my random thought revolve around me.

In FB yesterday I posted If "God took 18yrs to fulfill a promise would you still Praise Him? Hallelujah!! I say!!"

I began to think of the randomness of God. Is He really? I don't think so. But I also must admit that I don't understand it.

My faith assures me and makes me confident that God knows exactly what He is doing. I also am learning that God's timing is perfect.

Here's one of those Quantum Physics dilemma

I find myself Thanking God for today and for all that He continues to show me and all that He allows me to be a part of.

At the same time I look back at my life and some of the 'screwed' things that I did and some of the choices that I made.. and makes me want to beat my head against the wall (not literally)...

--staying here only for a second--

I can't believe some of the things I thought, said, and did. I have made huge mistakes and done things that would make the devil blush.

-- second is over--

So here's the dilemma:

Would I be the same person today that I am if God would not have allowed me to make those decisions early on in my life??

I don't want to be someone else. I'm finally beginning to like me . The "what if's" give me a headache.

And if things were different for me wouldn't they be different for you too? Would I be the same or worse? Would your life be yours or would it not exist? Would I love who I love now? Would I have a relationship with God or would I be Lost?

I just realized that God has been setting me up... for the biggest Blessing of my life..

I have been separated from my oldest daughter for 18yrs.

I have blamed everyone I could think of for this tragedy: Myself, her mom , the marines, the devil, myself (it's my guilt so i can include myself 2x) and even God..

Now I'm trying to make sense of all of this... Not sure that I will... not sure that I want to... But***

I have seen the miracles of God. I've been a witness to addicts coming clean, marriages restored, lives changed, people delivered.

I've heard God speak in the middle of the storm, protect, direct and Bless.. I've seen people without hope get hope without purpose see their purpose...

I've been there when God has healed from back aches, lumps and even the deaf and mute

Every sign and miracle I witnessed or was a part of increased my faith. Helped me to know that if God could do that .. then He can bring my daughter back to me...

I held on to a promise... I believed God... I actively waited on the Lord... and NOW Faith is FACT!!

He really did see every pain, struggle and hurt. Now I know that He saw every tear, heard every prayer and felt every distress. I am completely assured that nothing is impossible for GOD...

I am also convinced that there is NO RANDOMNESS IN GOD... I don't claim to understand.. but I can trust HIM..

I have no idea what all this means... But there is a stirring inside of me ... shouting out GREATER things!!!

Jamaica Missions date 20090621

Amazing service!!!
Please read the Jamaica Blogs Amazing Stories
Here's my summary:
3 Healed, 4 saved, 1 Baptized Water, 1 Baby dedication, 1 Baptized in Holy Spirit... The only think left was to have wedding because in that environment a funeral might have turned into a resurrection.

Amazing Timing!!!
The building was finished just in time for the service. I am completely convinced that the Thursday night prayer meeting prepared us all for what God wanted to do Sunday.

Amazing Presence!!!
The presence of Holy Spirit was in that place and He was so Amazing!!!
I was able to basically just give the invitation and people came. Our students were ready and interceding. They prayed for the sick, hurting and the needy. I was so amazed on how they just brought Heaven down to touch earth.

Amazing Touch!!!
I personally was touched in such a way that I knew that if we just asked for it there God was going to do it. So we asked! Before I prayed for Javon the little boy who WAS deaf and mute. He was wailing his arms around and wanted to run away. His mother brought him to me. I remember scooping him up and for a few seconds he went limp in my arms as I cried out to God for a Healing touch. I remember reminding God {as if He needed to be} that this was his child. In the midst of that I put him back down and others continued to press in and through. But I felt a release and assurance that it was done.

Amazing Testimonies!!!
All that were healed were able to give testimony of God's power. Though Javon had not yet manifested the healing. We received testimony the following day. As he was in his right mind - playing, responding to words, and speaking.

We received other encouraging testimonies of God's goodness.

Amazing Ending!!!
As God is so FAMOUS for giving us the desires of our heart.
We closed the service with one of our own getting Water Baptized. Gabby gave her testimony and it was just the cherry on top of the whip cream.

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I am so thankful to everyone that made this possible for me to go. I can not repay what you have sown into my life. To everyone that was on this trip... I love you so much... You have each impacted me and allowed me grow closer to Jesus... But To God be the Glory... Every little bit of it, for everything... !!! pastor cj

Jamaica Missions date 20090618

Chapel Service Teen Challenge Jamaica
Preached "God is Closer than you think.
Everyone responded amazingly well. Incredible time at the altars praying for these men seeking God with everything that is in them.
We had 3 Salvations -- To God be the Glory!!

Recovery is a Process
Later did one-one counseling. I walked away realizing that aftercare is going to be so vital for these men once they get out. One year is not enough.

Mountain Top Experience (ok so it was ontop of roof)

But OH MY!!! GOD showed up!!

So we are up there and it looks like we are almost done. P. Courtney looks at me as if to close in prayer. But I'm confused because it just didn't "feel" right. So I confirmed verbally with her and she nodded back. Later I find out that if I would have just closed that she would have been seriously disappointed. I would have too because we would have missed God.

I basically just asked who is tired, scared or in need of more Power... I explained the purpose of the Baptism of the Holy Spirit -- Receive Power to be witness' -- We then began to pray for one another and then BAM!!! Trevor received the Baptism and others were filled up to over flowing. P. Courtney best describes it in the Jamaica Blog
She says -- That time of worship went from being a 2-song sing-along to a 2 hour prayer time, with the whole team crying out to God from the bottom of their hearts for the town of 8 Mile. Our prayer echoed the words of the song, Hosanna :

I see a generation rising up to take their place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith.

I see a near revival, stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees.

Heal my heart and make me clean.
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like you have loved me.

Break my heart for what breaks yours.
Everything I am for your kingdom Lord,
As I walk from earth into eternity.
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I am so thankful to everyone that made this possible for me to go. I can not repay what you have sown into my life. To everyone that was on this trip... I love you so much... You have each impacted me and allowed me grow closer to Jesus... But To God be the Glory... Every little bit of it, for everything... !!! pastor cj

Pray for FFM

Hello LWF Prayer Warriors!

I submit this prayer request with a saddened heart.

Todd Bentley, the Canadian evangelist who led the controversial “Lakeland Outpouring,” is involved in an “unhealthy relationship on an emotional level with a female member of his staff,” according to the board of directors of Bentley’s Fresh Fire Ministries (FFM). (http://www.freshfire.ca/index.php)

This latest news quoted from above is only one of the many articles posted by Christian media, ministers and individuals on the web.

I'm saddened by both the hostility and complacency of some of these articles.

I simply urge you to pray specifically:

That Todd Bentley repent of this sin and that his marriage would be restored.

That the Lord would strengthen and encourage Shonnah Bentley during these difficult times.

That those that have been hurt, dismayed and/or confused would begin to forgive and heal.

May the Lord continue to be Gracious and Just!

-- All in the Name of Jesus.