Random on Vulnerability

It's been over a year since I posted anything on this blog.  For a second I began to wonder 'why?'. 
The answer came quickly - I realized that whatever I write is subject to scrutiny and criticism, especially if I stay honest to myself and actually talk about what is on my mind or what my struggles really are.  

So the actual issue is vulnerability and with that goes trust.  I want to be feel Safe {getting EMO}.  I need to TRUST that no one is going to ridicule, hurt or take advantage of my thoughts, ideas and feelings or see me less than what I really am. Truthfully, as I let my thoughts unravel through my fingers, that doesn't make any sense!  The very definition of vulnerability (Susceptible to physical or emotional injury, thefreedictionary.com) requires that there has to be a chance that Trust will fail and we will be hurt.

So I look to the Word of God for some Help (Psalm 121).  Looking at the writing style of the many psalmist I could take the approach of crying out in despair and then finally Calling on the Name of the Lord.
That approach works well when we consider that the author has already gone through the ordeal and is now writing from a place of fact not faith on the other side of deliverance and victory.  
My confession - I love that!!  To be able to rejoice, shout and praise because I have testimony after the Test!  I wish to interject a natural but.  But the struggle is in the middle of the fight not after.  To be vulnerable while we are going through it is like adding 'salt to the wound'. 

The other thought is take up the Apostle Paul's style of writing.  He told people exactly how it was. Handled confrontation and was a master at conflict resolution.  And if you didn't like it or repent he could suggest you be turned over to Satan (1 Cor 5:5).  I submit that when you are moving in 'signs, wonders and miracles' boldness in writing and communicating becomes easier.  Not really feeling that kind of power and authority all the time.  Nevertheless Paul still struggled with what people thought about him (1 Cor 12:6).

So I guess I'm going to make an attempt at this 'vulnerability' thing.  At times I will have a testimony because I'm on other side.  Other times I'm simply going through it without any real answers...  just questions...
If there is power in vulnerability then I have to take a chance...  even When it hurts...

I am left then to the fact that people are going to be people.  Some will drink the 'hatorade' to make themselves feel better about some other weakness and rejoice because they aren't as 'bad'.  To you I say 'thank God and rejoice that He has had Mercy".  Others will be encouraged knowing that they are not alone. to you I say "thank God and rejoice for His Grace is sufficient"

Jamaica Missions date 20090621

Amazing service!!!
Please read the Jamaica Blogs Amazing Stories
Here's my summary:
3 Healed, 4 saved, 1 Baptized Water, 1 Baby dedication, 1 Baptized in Holy Spirit... The only think left was to have wedding because in that environment a funeral might have turned into a resurrection.

Amazing Timing!!!
The building was finished just in time for the service. I am completely convinced that the Thursday night prayer meeting prepared us all for what God wanted to do Sunday.

Amazing Presence!!!
The presence of Holy Spirit was in that place and He was so Amazing!!!
I was able to basically just give the invitation and people came. Our students were ready and interceding. They prayed for the sick, hurting and the needy. I was so amazed on how they just brought Heaven down to touch earth.

Amazing Touch!!!
I personally was touched in such a way that I knew that if we just asked for it there God was going to do it. So we asked! Before I prayed for Javon the little boy who WAS deaf and mute. He was wailing his arms around and wanted to run away. His mother brought him to me. I remember scooping him up and for a few seconds he went limp in my arms as I cried out to God for a Healing touch. I remember reminding God {as if He needed to be} that this was his child. In the midst of that I put him back down and others continued to press in and through. But I felt a release and assurance that it was done.

Amazing Testimonies!!!
All that were healed were able to give testimony of God's power. Though Javon had not yet manifested the healing. We received testimony the following day. As he was in his right mind - playing, responding to words, and speaking.

We received other encouraging testimonies of God's goodness.

Amazing Ending!!!
As God is so FAMOUS for giving us the desires of our heart.
We closed the service with one of our own getting Water Baptized. Gabby gave her testimony and it was just the cherry on top of the whip cream.

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I am so thankful to everyone that made this possible for me to go. I can not repay what you have sown into my life. To everyone that was on this trip... I love you so much... You have each impacted me and allowed me grow closer to Jesus... But To God be the Glory... Every little bit of it, for everything... !!! pastor cj

Leadership

My Random thought on Leadership

Obey your spiritual leaders and submit to them [continually recognizing their authority over you], for they are constantly keeping watch over your souls and guarding your spiritual welfare, as men who will have to render an account [of their trust]. [Do your part to] let them do this with gladness and not with sighing and groaning, for that would not be profitable to you [either]. Hebrews 13:17 Amplified

I find interesting in this verse is that - submit - is what we do as we recognize their authority. It's a reminder that our leaders really do have authority and they have to give an account.

Basically, if I leader fails to exercise his/her authority properly then they are derelict of their duty and obligation to you and the Lord.

Next time my leaders decide to exercise a little authority over me, maybe I should remember this and submit.

What do you think?
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