Randomness of being convinced

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

How random is being convinced? I mean to be really convinced. To know without a single doubt that something is absolutely true.

I sometimes think that I would be the only person that would admit that there are something’s that I know are true but still hope for. I know that faith "is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (Heb 11:1). It's being sure of hope and certain of what is not seen! That's why it's called Faith; because if you could see it, it would be called FACT.

The writer of Romans (Paul) had to go through a process of being convinced. This gives the impression that there was a move from faith to fact. If we studied the life of Paul we would see that he lived a life convinced of this fact.

So I have to wonder in the randomness of being convinced. How would we respond or even act if we were convinced [fact] about God's love for us?

The random thought crossed my mind that some might just go on and do whatever it is that they wanted [sin], like a spoiled teenager. But I'm not sure about that. I don't think our teenagers are completely convinced how much and how we love them. If they really knew we wanted the best for them and were trying to protect them and want to see them grow into God’s best for them; how would they respond. Some teenagers have convinced themselves that they know best and all we want to do is control them. I wonder if God sees us the same way?

I believe that our response should be different if we were convinced, truly convinced. Walking convinced of God's Love makes us confident that no matter what comes my way I will not be separated from His Love. That type of love then should motivates us to love others no matter how they feel or think of us. Now that is powerful!

How would truly believing God Loves you -- no matter what -- change your thoughts and actions in the next 24 hours?

Would you take a risk and pray for someone, in public or at work?
Would you invite someone to church?
Would you stop and help someone?
What would you risk?

Randomness of God

Today my Random thought revolves around my life. But then again I guess all of my random thought revolve around me.

In FB yesterday I posted If "God took 18yrs to fulfill a promise would you still Praise Him? Hallelujah!! I say!!"

I began to think of the randomness of God. Is He really? I don't think so. But I also must admit that I don't understand it.

My faith assures me and makes me confident that God knows exactly what He is doing. I also am learning that God's timing is perfect.

Here's one of those Quantum Physics dilemma

I find myself Thanking God for today and for all that He continues to show me and all that He allows me to be a part of.

At the same time I look back at my life and some of the 'screwed' things that I did and some of the choices that I made.. and makes me want to beat my head against the wall (not literally)...

--staying here only for a second--

I can't believe some of the things I thought, said, and did. I have made huge mistakes and done things that would make the devil blush.

-- second is over--

So here's the dilemma:

Would I be the same person today that I am if God would not have allowed me to make those decisions early on in my life??

I don't want to be someone else. I'm finally beginning to like me . The "what if's" give me a headache.

And if things were different for me wouldn't they be different for you too? Would I be the same or worse? Would your life be yours or would it not exist? Would I love who I love now? Would I have a relationship with God or would I be Lost?

I just realized that God has been setting me up... for the biggest Blessing of my life..

I have been separated from my oldest daughter for 18yrs.

I have blamed everyone I could think of for this tragedy: Myself, her mom , the marines, the devil, myself (it's my guilt so i can include myself 2x) and even God..

Now I'm trying to make sense of all of this... Not sure that I will... not sure that I want to... But***

I have seen the miracles of God. I've been a witness to addicts coming clean, marriages restored, lives changed, people delivered.

I've heard God speak in the middle of the storm, protect, direct and Bless.. I've seen people without hope get hope without purpose see their purpose...

I've been there when God has healed from back aches, lumps and even the deaf and mute

Every sign and miracle I witnessed or was a part of increased my faith. Helped me to know that if God could do that .. then He can bring my daughter back to me...

I held on to a promise... I believed God... I actively waited on the Lord... and NOW Faith is FACT!!

He really did see every pain, struggle and hurt. Now I know that He saw every tear, heard every prayer and felt every distress. I am completely assured that nothing is impossible for GOD...

I am also convinced that there is NO RANDOMNESS IN GOD... I don't claim to understand.. but I can trust HIM..

I have no idea what all this means... But there is a stirring inside of me ... shouting out GREATER things!!!

Jamaica Missions date 20090621

Amazing service!!!
Please read the Jamaica Blogs Amazing Stories
Here's my summary:
3 Healed, 4 saved, 1 Baptized Water, 1 Baby dedication, 1 Baptized in Holy Spirit... The only think left was to have wedding because in that environment a funeral might have turned into a resurrection.

Amazing Timing!!!
The building was finished just in time for the service. I am completely convinced that the Thursday night prayer meeting prepared us all for what God wanted to do Sunday.

Amazing Presence!!!
The presence of Holy Spirit was in that place and He was so Amazing!!!
I was able to basically just give the invitation and people came. Our students were ready and interceding. They prayed for the sick, hurting and the needy. I was so amazed on how they just brought Heaven down to touch earth.

Amazing Touch!!!
I personally was touched in such a way that I knew that if we just asked for it there God was going to do it. So we asked! Before I prayed for Javon the little boy who WAS deaf and mute. He was wailing his arms around and wanted to run away. His mother brought him to me. I remember scooping him up and for a few seconds he went limp in my arms as I cried out to God for a Healing touch. I remember reminding God {as if He needed to be} that this was his child. In the midst of that I put him back down and others continued to press in and through. But I felt a release and assurance that it was done.

Amazing Testimonies!!!
All that were healed were able to give testimony of God's power. Though Javon had not yet manifested the healing. We received testimony the following day. As he was in his right mind - playing, responding to words, and speaking.

We received other encouraging testimonies of God's goodness.

Amazing Ending!!!
As God is so FAMOUS for giving us the desires of our heart.
We closed the service with one of our own getting Water Baptized. Gabby gave her testimony and it was just the cherry on top of the whip cream.

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I am so thankful to everyone that made this possible for me to go. I can not repay what you have sown into my life. To everyone that was on this trip... I love you so much... You have each impacted me and allowed me grow closer to Jesus... But To God be the Glory... Every little bit of it, for everything... !!! pastor cj

Jamaica Missions date 20090619

Loving Teenagers every where
Friday night preached at Rock Teens -- what an amazing night!
I couldn't believe how nervous I was that night. More than normal. At times it felt like my heart was going to pound right out of my chest.

We worshiped then played some games. By the time our team shared there testimonies, I was screaming on the inside ... "Let Me Loose!"

I Shared a Message on Worship is Universal. It was one of those roller coaster sermons.
Hilarious at times, Thought provoking and Challenging. I love those.

At the end we had an amazing time of worship and two salvations. Pastor Omar blessed my socks off when he closed the service reciting the three take home points:

Thoughtfully -- “with MY mind”
Passionately -- “with MY Heart and Soul”
Practically -- “with MY Strength”

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I am so thankful to everyone that made this possible for me to go. I can not repay what you have sown into my life. To everyone that was on this trip... I love you so much... You have each impacted me and allowed me grow closer to Jesus... But To God be the Glory... Every little bit of it, for everything... !!! pastor cj

Jamaica Missions date 20090618

Chapel Service Teen Challenge Jamaica
Preached "God is Closer than you think.
Everyone responded amazingly well. Incredible time at the altars praying for these men seeking God with everything that is in them.
We had 3 Salvations -- To God be the Glory!!

Recovery is a Process
Later did one-one counseling. I walked away realizing that aftercare is going to be so vital for these men once they get out. One year is not enough.

Mountain Top Experience (ok so it was ontop of roof)

But OH MY!!! GOD showed up!!

So we are up there and it looks like we are almost done. P. Courtney looks at me as if to close in prayer. But I'm confused because it just didn't "feel" right. So I confirmed verbally with her and she nodded back. Later I find out that if I would have just closed that she would have been seriously disappointed. I would have too because we would have missed God.

I basically just asked who is tired, scared or in need of more Power... I explained the purpose of the Baptism of the Holy Spirit -- Receive Power to be witness' -- We then began to pray for one another and then BAM!!! Trevor received the Baptism and others were filled up to over flowing. P. Courtney best describes it in the Jamaica Blog
She says -- That time of worship went from being a 2-song sing-along to a 2 hour prayer time, with the whole team crying out to God from the bottom of their hearts for the town of 8 Mile. Our prayer echoed the words of the song, Hosanna :

I see a generation rising up to take their place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith.

I see a near revival, stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees.

Heal my heart and make me clean.
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like you have loved me.

Break my heart for what breaks yours.
Everything I am for your kingdom Lord,
As I walk from earth into eternity.
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I am so thankful to everyone that made this possible for me to go. I can not repay what you have sown into my life. To everyone that was on this trip... I love you so much... You have each impacted me and allowed me grow closer to Jesus... But To God be the Glory... Every little bit of it, for everything... !!! pastor cj

Jamaica Missions date 20090617

My Babies aren't babies anymore
I love watching people grow. I would rather take the back seat and see others' develop and grow in there walk with the Lord. What a blessing it was to see Marlee, Iesha, Lydia, Maddie and Sami just pray out loud and in public.

I saw Marlee take authority in her prayer and lead others in boldness. Natural Leader among leaders. Iesha came out of her shell for the first time and prayed as if she had been doing this for years. The rest of the girls that were there with me were just as amazing.

David jr. delivered such a powerful Gospel message at the end of the skit. There is a fire anointing on him.

Brings a tear to my eye. Most of my babies aren't babies anymore they are might warriors. I didn't even see it happen. I am so proud of each of them.

Speak or Hold your Peace
There was an interesting encounter that I had with a Rasta. Just when I was thought I was done and on my way to the construction site. P. Courtney calls me back to deal with what appears to be a "situation". There was a gentleman (Rasta) that wanted to share somethings over the microphone. He said that after he was done that I then could say anything I pleased about what he said. Talk about my fear of the unknown.

I mentioned to him that I didn't know if it was a good idea since I had young kids around and I didn't want anything inappropriate to be said. At that moment it appeared that I might have offended him. But I looked into his eyes as he pointed to his 5yr old and said "I have kids here to and I would not say anything inappropriate" He seemed sincere.
As quickly as I could muster up an inside prayer... I said OK... With such Peace.

Strange thing was that there was a "combat" type of feeling in the air. It would be hard to explain it. As if he was in my face challenging everything that I believed to be true. Is God really that big? Would everyone then look at as us as a bunch of 'posers'? Could God really show up in this situation?
--But something rose up inside of me that made every fiber of my being cry out inside... God I need you right now cause I don't know what to do.

So I handed the Rasta the mic. He began to speak. He called it a chant but to me it sounded more like a Rap or Poetry. But it wasn't what he said ... that actually was very good. He was talking about the virtue of a woman and how beautiful they are. How we need to honor and respect them and how it is Jah (God) who created them. But through out all that he said he was staring me down and I him. We were only a foot apart. As if we were about ready to just brawl. He was ranting and I was agreeing for the most part.

As all this was happening I heard in the corner of my ear through all the yelling some of our girls praying in the spirit. This I guess is the part were maybe I should have felt peace. But the feeling I had was of RAW POWER and Boldness. I think it was more of the feeling "there are more with us then against us". ... As the RASTA gave me the Mic. I began to Bless the Almighty and the kids around me joined in. I didn't want to leave any doubt that Jesus is the one we worship.

What a divine time of prayer... Total dependence on Jesus!

Faith Building Up
I also prayed for another man and his healing.. how amazing that would be for God to heal him and be a testimony in this village. I'm realizing now that this was simply my faith building up for what was to come

Dreams do come True
While I was working I had mentioned to the team that I want to be able to have a service where people get saved and immediately get baptized. This happened near the baptism that was built.
It was kind of cool to see this built from concrete right into the foundation of the building.. That almost sounds like a title of a sermon... But I regress .....
So we were talking and I said how cool it would be if God would just allow us to baptize some people in this tank Sunday morning.

2 Hours later Sister Maureen introduces me to the father of the girl who died..
{There was a young girl who died in the village 3weeks ago for no apparent reason}
He mentions that he wants to be baptized... 'Is this a Resurrection from the dead opportunity' is what I thought as well?

God Moment with an Orange
So there we are. This guy who just lost his 19yr old daughter and me just hanging out talking about his situation, his hurt, his life and why he want to be baptized as I just shared my orange with him... Felt like we were taking communion at a deeper level.
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I am so thankful to everyone that made this possible for me to go. I can not repay what you have sown into my life. To everyone that was on this trip... I love you so much... You have each impacted me and allowed me grow closer to Jesus... But To God be the Glory... Every little bit of it, for everything... !!! pastor cj

Jamaica Missions date 20090616

Getting Started
Talk about the enemy being a liar. On the way to Ocho Rios one of the vans gets a flat tire.
No worries!! Peter Good to there rescue.

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I am so thankful to everyone that made this possible for me to go. I can not repay what you have sown into my life. To everyone that was on this trip... I love you so much... You have each impacted me and allowed me grow closer to Jesus... But To God be the Glory... Every little bit of it, for everything... !!! pastor cj