Random on Vulnerability

It's been over a year since I posted anything on this blog.  For a second I began to wonder 'why?'. 
The answer came quickly - I realized that whatever I write is subject to scrutiny and criticism, especially if I stay honest to myself and actually talk about what is on my mind or what my struggles really are.  

So the actual issue is vulnerability and with that goes trust.  I want to be feel Safe {getting EMO}.  I need to TRUST that no one is going to ridicule, hurt or take advantage of my thoughts, ideas and feelings or see me less than what I really am. Truthfully, as I let my thoughts unravel through my fingers, that doesn't make any sense!  The very definition of vulnerability (Susceptible to physical or emotional injury, thefreedictionary.com) requires that there has to be a chance that Trust will fail and we will be hurt.

So I look to the Word of God for some Help (Psalm 121).  Looking at the writing style of the many psalmist I could take the approach of crying out in despair and then finally Calling on the Name of the Lord.
That approach works well when we consider that the author has already gone through the ordeal and is now writing from a place of fact not faith on the other side of deliverance and victory.  
My confession - I love that!!  To be able to rejoice, shout and praise because I have testimony after the Test!  I wish to interject a natural but.  But the struggle is in the middle of the fight not after.  To be vulnerable while we are going through it is like adding 'salt to the wound'. 

The other thought is take up the Apostle Paul's style of writing.  He told people exactly how it was. Handled confrontation and was a master at conflict resolution.  And if you didn't like it or repent he could suggest you be turned over to Satan (1 Cor 5:5).  I submit that when you are moving in 'signs, wonders and miracles' boldness in writing and communicating becomes easier.  Not really feeling that kind of power and authority all the time.  Nevertheless Paul still struggled with what people thought about him (1 Cor 12:6).

So I guess I'm going to make an attempt at this 'vulnerability' thing.  At times I will have a testimony because I'm on other side.  Other times I'm simply going through it without any real answers...  just questions...
If there is power in vulnerability then I have to take a chance...  even When it hurts...

I am left then to the fact that people are going to be people.  Some will drink the 'hatorade' to make themselves feel better about some other weakness and rejoice because they aren't as 'bad'.  To you I say 'thank God and rejoice that He has had Mercy".  Others will be encouraged knowing that they are not alone. to you I say "thank God and rejoice for His Grace is sufficient"

Random Picture of Love

Those that know me, know that I live in a 'Glass House' and I am careful "not to throw rocks".  I'm also very aware that any position that we take will either attract or repel.

A friend of mine posted a picture to Facebook.  I refused to post it on this blog because it is offensive.  It was broken into four parts.  3 of them showed couples kissing (guy/girl; guy/guy; girl/girl)  Under each of those captions it said "this is love".   The fourth section had some people with picket signs that said "God Hates Fags" and the caption said "this isn't".   I almost posted directly on this photo but thought it would cause animosity since my position might not be popular for my friend's friends.

In situations like this it seems that our opinions should either be one way or the other...  Jump on the 'band wagon'...  or "left vs right".   These are the times were I feel like the square peg in the round hole.  Simply said..   I disagree with their picture on FB.

That a single picture of some 'homo-phobs" be used to represent God's positions on anything makes me nauseous.  Maybe more disturbing is that some would actually consider that they actually speak for God.   God has already spoken!!!  Today I'm glad that there isn't a dislike/disapprove button on FB since it may seems then I agree with 'gay-bashers'. 

On the other hand let me be clear;  None of the images above represent Love either.  The idea that love is defined by "a kiss"... is honestly SAD!!

Do we need a physical outward demonstration of Love?
If so try this one on...      "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  (Romans 5:8)

Random Thought on Pain

"Pain is an unpleasant feeling often caused by intense or damaging stimuli..." is how the Wiki on pain begins.

I have noticed that the older I get my threshold for physical pain keeps decreasing. Stubbing my toe or splinter makes me scream for Jesus and my Mommy in that order.
All of this brought me to my Random Thought and few points to ponder:

Pain can be physical and/or  emotional.
Pain is an equal opportunity offender it does not discriminate
Pain never announces itself though sometimes you can see it coming

People do not feel the same intensity of hurt for the same stimuli of pain
Experience or Time does not make Pain hurt less but might make us withstand better.
Pain always hurts
Pain is always personal!

My wife says when it comes to people "if your not close enough to be hurt your not close enough to make a difference".

When experiencing a hurt or pain at times, and meaning well, we might be Spiritualize and quote Romans 8:28  "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." 

Really?!?  Could be the likely response from a person who does not know God nor trust Him.  Truth is we all have hurt, are hurting or will hurt.  There is no pain that is greater than another.  Each experience will be dependent on a previous experience, the time that has lapsed and the uniqueness of the person.  Needless to say the pain that hurts the most most is the current one we experiencing..   

Dealing with pain feels like an episode from the Twilight Zone.  That place right in the middle that confesses by faith "I know truth"; "I trust; "I believe I have received" but there is no natural manifestation and the more I pray the more it hurts. So I say to myself -- I really do know what I should believe and I even know what to say...  But I feel like running away!!  As if I can run away from my feelings..  I want to trust God but the voices in my head are driving insane!!

The time now comes to engage the mind.  To decipher and discern the Word.   The battle of my mind begins over Romans 8:28 --  Does it begin with definition and understanding?

So is the pain or situation for the Good of those that love him more than me?? 

 Do I love?? Am I called?

All questions that come up in the middle of the night when you can't sleep or when you wake....

There is no logic that can combat these thoughts..   Praying doesn't help as I feel like a spoil child throwing a tantrum..

Maybe it's simply my understanding of good?  What God perceives as good for me may not feel good to me.

So what am I to do??  I put my hand on the wound and squeeze..  Realizing that the pain I feel is a reminder that I am alive...    "What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me" (Job)

Only choice now is to get up and fight..  I stand up and stand..   Ensuring that I don't let my HURT hurt others while allowing others to carry my burden..  I lean not on my own understanding but recognize that GOD is God!!!

That makes A.W. Tozer's quote “It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply.”   Have a fresh meaning.

Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
   and naked I will depart!

Random Thought on "Last Days"

Last Days?

The bible says: " 'In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. Acts 2:17

Either we are or we are not in the "last days".
IF anyone believes the negative position then it would be right for them to sit around and do nothing and wait for the "last days".

However I have chosen to stand on the affirmative. I am thoroughly convinced by content and context of scripture that these are the "last days".

If these are the Last Days and God is Faithful then I have an expectancy to see a manifestation of the outpouring of His Spirit on all people.

God! I need to see an outpouring of Your Spirit! A breakthrough like never before were Your presence transforms people from the inside out. Where only Jesus gets all the Glory.

Start with Me, then Us, Right Here, and Right Now!!

Random Concern - Face vs Promise

I really do want to be more concerned with the person and character of God, not just the promises.

I have realized something very refreshing about God. Which I'm sure isn't a new revelation to a lot of people. But to me it's like a an ice cold glass of milk on hot day (Substitute your favorite beverage for milk). It's always cold, wet, satisfying and refreshing. That is that when I chase after God, His promises come to pass. But the opposite is also true. I get frustrated when I sit around waiting for a promise to manifest and it doesn't happen.

I guess it's part of the whole backwards kingdom logic: last to be first; weak to be strong; humble to be lifted foolish to be wise; die to live. And the opposite is true also. The more I seek the latter the more I feel like the former. What an anti culture dilemma. There's a "squirrel" causing another Random Thought on Promises. I'll leave that alone for now simply knowing that God is faithful to His Promises because He is the "Promise Keeper". All that said because it is so easy to get consumed in chasing the promises instead of the Promise Maker.

Being concerned with the person and nature of God takes on a completely different attitude. It's the true essence of the marriage vows: "in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy," At the time we don't ask the question "how sick, how poor, how bad or how sad?" Though some may act that way in divorce court (another squirrel).

All we know and all we are concerned with and even consumed with is being with the person we are about to call our spouse. Happily Ever After! amen.

This is where I want to be all the time with my God. I want to be concerned about His person. To know him deeper to know Him at a different level. The beauty of it is that when I study and His character, I experience His Person.

Scriptures than like
2 Chronicles 7:14
if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

This shows us His character IS merciful, forgiving, healing and loving. And we can experience His person if we would pray and seek His Face. The mistake that we have made is that we have created a formula and we miss the point. This isn't just a promise it's an invitation.

We should accept the invitation to sincerely and seriously seek God's face without any reward. Our concern should be to experience His Person. That process humbles us. His Presence reveals and forces us to turn from wickedness and respond "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined!" (Isaiah 6:5). If we would learn to be satisfied with that we would then learn His Character. We would see a glimpse of how amazing He Is. The manifestation of His promise simply proves His Character.

The new testament gives us a similar invitation in Matthew 6:25-34 to be more concerned about His Kingdom and Righteousness through that He will reveal His Character and Person.
not worry about the .

Here's one more scripture that speaks for itself
Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

The consequence for being concerned about God's Character and Person is promises manifested but that should not be the motivation.

I want my prayer to continue to be that of the psalmist:
My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, LORD, I will seek. (Psalm 27:8)

I do believe we can have the latter when we submit to the former!!

.

Random Zeal Thought

From the outside looking in ... Zeal could like Madness ... No wonder some people think I'm CRAZY.. :-D

Random Zeal Thought
Thinking like a puppy

Zeal defined
–noun : fervor for a person, cause, or object; eager desire or endeavor; enthusiastic diligence; ardor.
—Synonyms intensity, passion.

2 Samuel 6:22 I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor."

I remember when I first came into a personal relationship with Jesus. An older man said to me "son never let that fire burn out" He was talking about the obvious passion that I had for the LORD my Master. I must have had that excited tail wagging hyper puppy look in my eyes waiting for my Master to throw the ball -- yelping and peeing all over the place.

I also remember while I was dreaming about planting LWF that someone commented about my 'zeal'. That it would be Zeal that would help grow the church. Now that was an encouraging Word. (There was a second part to that, but she never told me. Now for years I've wondered about that).

Truth be told I still am excited for my Master to throw the ball but I've learned not to pee all over the place and to sit, a sign of maturity.

The best part is that when He throws the ball I get to chase it and bring it back to Him.
He then encourages me and I get more excited. I think He likes it when I give it all I've got just to bring the ball (Glory) back to Him.

My RANDOM thought:
Can zeal be taken as arrogance?
Even if it's Zeal towards the Master?
Inside the church by the church?

If we take the above scripture incident out of context and just look at what David said to Michal it sounds very arrogant.

Almost sounds like kids on the playground taunting one another "He chose me and not your father".

If we put it back in the context of who David is, we can begin to see that David was lost in the moment of praise. His surroundings are no longer relevant. Worshiping God is the purpose and center of his 'zeal'

Unfortunately there are some that would see this behavior, call it foolishness and believe that David is just trying to bring attention to himself.

His dancing, leaping could be considered a performance, but it is for an audience of One.

So what then do we do and say concerning Zeal?

I want to be so consumed with Worship that if I happen to say or do something that looks foolish. Then let me be a fool for Jesus.

Master throw the Ball and I'll bring it back to YOU... and I won't let the Squirrels distract me !!

Random Shadow Thought

I was thinking about Psalm 23 today. That started me thinking about Shadows so I posted on my Facebook:

"walking through the valley of the SHADOW of death.

I'm not scared;

I only FEAR that I don't have enough time left to tell the world that there is NO time left"

Random Shadow Thought

As I allowed my mind to think randomly about life's ups and downs, valleys, mountains, life, death and shadows -- I realized that the Psalmist didn't say that he was walking through the "Valley of Death" but the "valley of the SHADOW of death".

SO I began to notice a couple things about shadows. Shadows are a forcast of the real thing or even a forcast of something to come. A shadow is not real but a projection of a real thing. If we see a shadow approaching we can safely assume that someone or something is approaching but it's not here yet.

The idea of walking through an area where death is approaching gripped me, if only for a second. The realization is that we have nothing to be scared of even if death is approaching.

We are covered by the Blood of the Lamb. In the same way the angel of death passed over the homes when he saw the blood of the lamb (Exodus 12). Death must also passover us because of the Blood (1 Peter 1:19).

So what is this "valley of the Shadow of death" that we are walking through? We can all agree that we are in the last days known as the end times. Death is approaching; the shadow is the forecast. People will die and will have to give an account -- the judgement. The judgement is death.

We don't have much time to tell the world about the gift of eternal life that comes through Jesus. We are out of time to convince people that excuses will not work on Judgement Day. That the only way to escape judgement is by grace through faith in Jesus Christ.

Yes, I walk through Reading and I have no fear because God is with me. The truth is that I'm running out of time because I know the shadow of death is approaching and there are so many people that don't have a personal relationhip with Christ.

Lord help me!! I desire for more people to proclaim that they will live in Your House forever!

....

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD
Forever.

How Super is the Man?

I want to confess that being random is lots of fun. I don't have to write and then when I do I can write about anything. (currently laughing at myself) Journalling Out of The Box.. haha.. side stitch... (ouch!!)

Today one of my Facebook Friends made a comment that really got me thinking.

"Superman's not brave. You can't be brave if you're indestructible. It's every day people, like you and me, that are brave knowing we could easily be defeated but still continue forward."

I admit I am a Smallville Fan and hope that my apprecation for science fiction doesn't change your opinion of me. Or maybe it will for the better.. (not going down that random rabbit trail today) I heard someone say it's okay to watch Smallville because they play the hottest christian music. LOL

Random thought -- How super is the Man?

Thinking -- What are the things that can destroy?

It's true Clark Kent has no worries of the natural things that can destroy, well except for Kryptonite. But what about the intangible things? The things you can't touch, taste, see or hear? --- rejection, hurt, despair, worthlessness, dependence --- I'm sure there is more.

I started thinking what we have in common with superman. Then I realized that if have recieved Jesus Christ as our personal savior then the very promise is eternal life. That means that we are just as indestructible as Kal-El. We will live forever! WooHoo!!

But even that realization doesn't make us anymore or less brave. The truth is that we still have to deal with those emotions. It's how we deal with those emotions that make us Brave.

When we were in Disney this past summer. My eight your old was scared of the "Tower of Terror"

So was I. The lesson for the day was that Courage doesn't come from the absence of Fear but in the presence of Fear. I would say to him "courage is.." and he would say "pressing through fear"

So how do we deal with the intangible things that can destroy even Superman?

I believe we need to rest on the truth.. The bible says "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear," 1 John 4:18

We realize the very thing that we are scared of.

We do what it is we know we are supposed to do in light of that fear.

That means that we step through with what we know and not what we see (called faith)

And even if that fear is manifested we trust and realize that our value isn't on what other people say think or believe but in Who God is to us and who are to HIM!

None of this is easy. But it's the Random thought to deal with each time we encounter the things that can really destroy us...

Is MORE of God Random or Radical?

A devotional I was reading ended with this prayer:

"Lord, not more people, but more of You. Let me wait upon You, keep me faithful, send Your Holy Spirit. If You then send growth as well, I'll thank You and see it as an added blessing. Amen."

This particular prayer took me into so many random thoughts that I felt like my tiny brain was going to explode. There is so much going on right now and then... This prayer...

My randomness today begins with wanting to just jump up and agree with this type of prayer. How beautiful, simple but yet so intimate. More of YOU LORD, fill me to overflow!

As I mutter those words a small voice in my own head asks --> Has this become another cliche prayer? Do we really understand what we are praying for? Do I know? Or does it feel good praying it?

I'm quickly reminded of what the presence of God has done through out scripture:

At the Temple dedication

-- More of God? What if it means being paralyzed with awe?

Isaiah in the presence of the LORD cried "Woe to me!" and "I am ruined!" (Isa 6)

-- More of God? What if it means realizing how insignificant I am in His Presence?

At Mount Sinai when God showed up they trembled with fear and said "do not have God speak to us or we will die." (Ex 20)

-- More of God? What if it means death?

To ask God for more of Him is absolutely radical. It goes beyond a random thought or a feel good experience. When we intentionally make this request we begin to get a little glimpse of Him.

It's this glimpse that makes us cry out, desire, plead for more. The amazing part is that the more of Him we receive the More of Him we have to give or there won't be enough room for more of Him...

So then I say more of YOU LORD!! Paralyze me, Crush me, Kill me if YOU must but fill me with More of YOU!

Random Drowning Thought

Someone is drowning! what do you do?

Throw them a life preserver?

Jump in after them?

My knee jerk response to this random question would be "BOTH"!! -- But as always my mind begins to wander. (caution -- being in my mind is not a safe place at times -- jk)

Now the hard questions are asked. You know?!? the what if's of life that make Black and White turn into Grey.

Would our reaction change if the person drowning was different?

Stranger, Friend, Enemy, Child, or Spouse...

The hope here is that we would react the same for each one of them. Nevertheless the urgency and desperation would feel different. Maybe few people would admit if it were a stranger or someone we didn't like that maybe we would hesitate. Silently that someone else would come to the rescue.

Here's another what if... What if we didn't know how to swim? Would our response change in comparison to someone that does know how to swim? These random questions are necessary to ask.

The truth is that it wouldn't matter if I knew how to swim or lost my life for someone I love. I would jump in and trust the life preserver would save us both.

When I was in High School I remember the purpose of wrestling practice. The coach drilled into us every move. We practiced slow, fast, alone and with others. He wanted us to know those moves better than we know ourselves. He was teaching us to counter and react for every move the opponent would make. There was no doubt. If the our opponent would try to take us down by our legs ... our body would naturally sprawl out and counter.

This is the very reason why these questions need to be asked. We need to practice and know what our response would be if we came across someone who was dying -- regardless of who they are.

Another random thought crosses my mind now. Are we aware of how many people are drowning around us? The urgency may be different but the result is still death.

There are people drowning; hurting, struggling, hopeless and helpless...

Anyone willing to jump and let Jesus be the Life Preserver?

People really don't care how much we know until they know how much we care!

Randomness of being convinced

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

How random is being convinced? I mean to be really convinced. To know without a single doubt that something is absolutely true.

I sometimes think that I would be the only person that would admit that there are something’s that I know are true but still hope for. I know that faith "is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (Heb 11:1). It's being sure of hope and certain of what is not seen! That's why it's called Faith; because if you could see it, it would be called FACT.

The writer of Romans (Paul) had to go through a process of being convinced. This gives the impression that there was a move from faith to fact. If we studied the life of Paul we would see that he lived a life convinced of this fact.

So I have to wonder in the randomness of being convinced. How would we respond or even act if we were convinced [fact] about God's love for us?

The random thought crossed my mind that some might just go on and do whatever it is that they wanted [sin], like a spoiled teenager. But I'm not sure about that. I don't think our teenagers are completely convinced how much and how we love them. If they really knew we wanted the best for them and were trying to protect them and want to see them grow into God’s best for them; how would they respond. Some teenagers have convinced themselves that they know best and all we want to do is control them. I wonder if God sees us the same way?

I believe that our response should be different if we were convinced, truly convinced. Walking convinced of God's Love makes us confident that no matter what comes my way I will not be separated from His Love. That type of love then should motivates us to love others no matter how they feel or think of us. Now that is powerful!

How would truly believing God Loves you -- no matter what -- change your thoughts and actions in the next 24 hours?

Would you take a risk and pray for someone, in public or at work?
Would you invite someone to church?
Would you stop and help someone?
What would you risk?

Randomness of God

Today my Random thought revolves around my life. But then again I guess all of my random thought revolve around me.

In FB yesterday I posted If "God took 18yrs to fulfill a promise would you still Praise Him? Hallelujah!! I say!!"

I began to think of the randomness of God. Is He really? I don't think so. But I also must admit that I don't understand it.

My faith assures me and makes me confident that God knows exactly what He is doing. I also am learning that God's timing is perfect.

Here's one of those Quantum Physics dilemma

I find myself Thanking God for today and for all that He continues to show me and all that He allows me to be a part of.

At the same time I look back at my life and some of the 'screwed' things that I did and some of the choices that I made.. and makes me want to beat my head against the wall (not literally)...

--staying here only for a second--

I can't believe some of the things I thought, said, and did. I have made huge mistakes and done things that would make the devil blush.

-- second is over--

So here's the dilemma:

Would I be the same person today that I am if God would not have allowed me to make those decisions early on in my life??

I don't want to be someone else. I'm finally beginning to like me . The "what if's" give me a headache.

And if things were different for me wouldn't they be different for you too? Would I be the same or worse? Would your life be yours or would it not exist? Would I love who I love now? Would I have a relationship with God or would I be Lost?

I just realized that God has been setting me up... for the biggest Blessing of my life..

I have been separated from my oldest daughter for 18yrs.

I have blamed everyone I could think of for this tragedy: Myself, her mom , the marines, the devil, myself (it's my guilt so i can include myself 2x) and even God..

Now I'm trying to make sense of all of this... Not sure that I will... not sure that I want to... But***

I have seen the miracles of God. I've been a witness to addicts coming clean, marriages restored, lives changed, people delivered.

I've heard God speak in the middle of the storm, protect, direct and Bless.. I've seen people without hope get hope without purpose see their purpose...

I've been there when God has healed from back aches, lumps and even the deaf and mute

Every sign and miracle I witnessed or was a part of increased my faith. Helped me to know that if God could do that .. then He can bring my daughter back to me...

I held on to a promise... I believed God... I actively waited on the Lord... and NOW Faith is FACT!!

He really did see every pain, struggle and hurt. Now I know that He saw every tear, heard every prayer and felt every distress. I am completely assured that nothing is impossible for GOD...

I am also convinced that there is NO RANDOMNESS IN GOD... I don't claim to understand.. but I can trust HIM..

I have no idea what all this means... But there is a stirring inside of me ... shouting out GREATER things!!!

Jamaica Missions date 20090621

Amazing service!!!
Please read the Jamaica Blogs Amazing Stories
Here's my summary:
3 Healed, 4 saved, 1 Baptized Water, 1 Baby dedication, 1 Baptized in Holy Spirit... The only think left was to have wedding because in that environment a funeral might have turned into a resurrection.

Amazing Timing!!!
The building was finished just in time for the service. I am completely convinced that the Thursday night prayer meeting prepared us all for what God wanted to do Sunday.

Amazing Presence!!!
The presence of Holy Spirit was in that place and He was so Amazing!!!
I was able to basically just give the invitation and people came. Our students were ready and interceding. They prayed for the sick, hurting and the needy. I was so amazed on how they just brought Heaven down to touch earth.

Amazing Touch!!!
I personally was touched in such a way that I knew that if we just asked for it there God was going to do it. So we asked! Before I prayed for Javon the little boy who WAS deaf and mute. He was wailing his arms around and wanted to run away. His mother brought him to me. I remember scooping him up and for a few seconds he went limp in my arms as I cried out to God for a Healing touch. I remember reminding God {as if He needed to be} that this was his child. In the midst of that I put him back down and others continued to press in and through. But I felt a release and assurance that it was done.

Amazing Testimonies!!!
All that were healed were able to give testimony of God's power. Though Javon had not yet manifested the healing. We received testimony the following day. As he was in his right mind - playing, responding to words, and speaking.

We received other encouraging testimonies of God's goodness.

Amazing Ending!!!
As God is so FAMOUS for giving us the desires of our heart.
We closed the service with one of our own getting Water Baptized. Gabby gave her testimony and it was just the cherry on top of the whip cream.

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I am so thankful to everyone that made this possible for me to go. I can not repay what you have sown into my life. To everyone that was on this trip... I love you so much... You have each impacted me and allowed me grow closer to Jesus... But To God be the Glory... Every little bit of it, for everything... !!! pastor cj

Jamaica Missions date 20090619

Loving Teenagers every where
Friday night preached at Rock Teens -- what an amazing night!
I couldn't believe how nervous I was that night. More than normal. At times it felt like my heart was going to pound right out of my chest.

We worshiped then played some games. By the time our team shared there testimonies, I was screaming on the inside ... "Let Me Loose!"

I Shared a Message on Worship is Universal. It was one of those roller coaster sermons.
Hilarious at times, Thought provoking and Challenging. I love those.

At the end we had an amazing time of worship and two salvations. Pastor Omar blessed my socks off when he closed the service reciting the three take home points:

Thoughtfully -- “with MY mind”
Passionately -- “with MY Heart and Soul”
Practically -- “with MY Strength”

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I am so thankful to everyone that made this possible for me to go. I can not repay what you have sown into my life. To everyone that was on this trip... I love you so much... You have each impacted me and allowed me grow closer to Jesus... But To God be the Glory... Every little bit of it, for everything... !!! pastor cj

Jamaica Missions date 20090618

Chapel Service Teen Challenge Jamaica
Preached "God is Closer than you think.
Everyone responded amazingly well. Incredible time at the altars praying for these men seeking God with everything that is in them.
We had 3 Salvations -- To God be the Glory!!

Recovery is a Process
Later did one-one counseling. I walked away realizing that aftercare is going to be so vital for these men once they get out. One year is not enough.

Mountain Top Experience (ok so it was ontop of roof)

But OH MY!!! GOD showed up!!

So we are up there and it looks like we are almost done. P. Courtney looks at me as if to close in prayer. But I'm confused because it just didn't "feel" right. So I confirmed verbally with her and she nodded back. Later I find out that if I would have just closed that she would have been seriously disappointed. I would have too because we would have missed God.

I basically just asked who is tired, scared or in need of more Power... I explained the purpose of the Baptism of the Holy Spirit -- Receive Power to be witness' -- We then began to pray for one another and then BAM!!! Trevor received the Baptism and others were filled up to over flowing. P. Courtney best describes it in the Jamaica Blog
She says -- That time of worship went from being a 2-song sing-along to a 2 hour prayer time, with the whole team crying out to God from the bottom of their hearts for the town of 8 Mile. Our prayer echoed the words of the song, Hosanna :

I see a generation rising up to take their place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith.

I see a near revival, stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees.

Heal my heart and make me clean.
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like you have loved me.

Break my heart for what breaks yours.
Everything I am for your kingdom Lord,
As I walk from earth into eternity.
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I am so thankful to everyone that made this possible for me to go. I can not repay what you have sown into my life. To everyone that was on this trip... I love you so much... You have each impacted me and allowed me grow closer to Jesus... But To God be the Glory... Every little bit of it, for everything... !!! pastor cj

Jamaica Missions date 20090617

My Babies aren't babies anymore
I love watching people grow. I would rather take the back seat and see others' develop and grow in there walk with the Lord. What a blessing it was to see Marlee, Iesha, Lydia, Maddie and Sami just pray out loud and in public.

I saw Marlee take authority in her prayer and lead others in boldness. Natural Leader among leaders. Iesha came out of her shell for the first time and prayed as if she had been doing this for years. The rest of the girls that were there with me were just as amazing.

David jr. delivered such a powerful Gospel message at the end of the skit. There is a fire anointing on him.

Brings a tear to my eye. Most of my babies aren't babies anymore they are might warriors. I didn't even see it happen. I am so proud of each of them.

Speak or Hold your Peace
There was an interesting encounter that I had with a Rasta. Just when I was thought I was done and on my way to the construction site. P. Courtney calls me back to deal with what appears to be a "situation". There was a gentleman (Rasta) that wanted to share somethings over the microphone. He said that after he was done that I then could say anything I pleased about what he said. Talk about my fear of the unknown.

I mentioned to him that I didn't know if it was a good idea since I had young kids around and I didn't want anything inappropriate to be said. At that moment it appeared that I might have offended him. But I looked into his eyes as he pointed to his 5yr old and said "I have kids here to and I would not say anything inappropriate" He seemed sincere.
As quickly as I could muster up an inside prayer... I said OK... With such Peace.

Strange thing was that there was a "combat" type of feeling in the air. It would be hard to explain it. As if he was in my face challenging everything that I believed to be true. Is God really that big? Would everyone then look at as us as a bunch of 'posers'? Could God really show up in this situation?
--But something rose up inside of me that made every fiber of my being cry out inside... God I need you right now cause I don't know what to do.

So I handed the Rasta the mic. He began to speak. He called it a chant but to me it sounded more like a Rap or Poetry. But it wasn't what he said ... that actually was very good. He was talking about the virtue of a woman and how beautiful they are. How we need to honor and respect them and how it is Jah (God) who created them. But through out all that he said he was staring me down and I him. We were only a foot apart. As if we were about ready to just brawl. He was ranting and I was agreeing for the most part.

As all this was happening I heard in the corner of my ear through all the yelling some of our girls praying in the spirit. This I guess is the part were maybe I should have felt peace. But the feeling I had was of RAW POWER and Boldness. I think it was more of the feeling "there are more with us then against us". ... As the RASTA gave me the Mic. I began to Bless the Almighty and the kids around me joined in. I didn't want to leave any doubt that Jesus is the one we worship.

What a divine time of prayer... Total dependence on Jesus!

Faith Building Up
I also prayed for another man and his healing.. how amazing that would be for God to heal him and be a testimony in this village. I'm realizing now that this was simply my faith building up for what was to come

Dreams do come True
While I was working I had mentioned to the team that I want to be able to have a service where people get saved and immediately get baptized. This happened near the baptism that was built.
It was kind of cool to see this built from concrete right into the foundation of the building.. That almost sounds like a title of a sermon... But I regress .....
So we were talking and I said how cool it would be if God would just allow us to baptize some people in this tank Sunday morning.

2 Hours later Sister Maureen introduces me to the father of the girl who died..
{There was a young girl who died in the village 3weeks ago for no apparent reason}
He mentions that he wants to be baptized... 'Is this a Resurrection from the dead opportunity' is what I thought as well?

God Moment with an Orange
So there we are. This guy who just lost his 19yr old daughter and me just hanging out talking about his situation, his hurt, his life and why he want to be baptized as I just shared my orange with him... Felt like we were taking communion at a deeper level.
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I am so thankful to everyone that made this possible for me to go. I can not repay what you have sown into my life. To everyone that was on this trip... I love you so much... You have each impacted me and allowed me grow closer to Jesus... But To God be the Glory... Every little bit of it, for everything... !!! pastor cj

Jamaica Missions date 20090616

Getting Started
Talk about the enemy being a liar. On the way to Ocho Rios one of the vans gets a flat tire.
No worries!! Peter Good to there rescue.

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I am so thankful to everyone that made this possible for me to go. I can not repay what you have sown into my life. To everyone that was on this trip... I love you so much... You have each impacted me and allowed me grow closer to Jesus... But To God be the Glory... Every little bit of it, for everything... !!! pastor cj

Random Overflow Thought

Gary Chapman in the "The Five Love Languages" uses an analogy:
That when we feel loved that our cup is full. And that we should take time to fill each others cup.

My wife and will ask the question of weather our cup is full or not. It's a nice way of saying "you're meeting my needs". Or just asking for some affection.

Random thought:
It is a whole lot easier to keep overflowing a full cup then it is to try and fill an empty one.
What areas of my life need to be filled?
What areas of life do need to continue to overflow?
What areas can I allow the Holy Spirit to Pour into?

Psalm 23:5 (Amplified Bible)

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my [brimming] cup runs over.

Leadership

My Random thought on Leadership

Obey your spiritual leaders and submit to them [continually recognizing their authority over you], for they are constantly keeping watch over your souls and guarding your spiritual welfare, as men who will have to render an account [of their trust]. [Do your part to] let them do this with gladness and not with sighing and groaning, for that would not be profitable to you [either]. Hebrews 13:17 Amplified

I find interesting in this verse is that - submit - is what we do as we recognize their authority. It's a reminder that our leaders really do have authority and they have to give an account.

Basically, if I leader fails to exercise his/her authority properly then they are derelict of their duty and obligation to you and the Lord.

Next time my leaders decide to exercise a little authority over me, maybe I should remember this and submit.

What do you think?
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Pray for FFM

Hello LWF Prayer Warriors!

I submit this prayer request with a saddened heart.

Todd Bentley, the Canadian evangelist who led the controversial “Lakeland Outpouring,” is involved in an “unhealthy relationship on an emotional level with a female member of his staff,” according to the board of directors of Bentley’s Fresh Fire Ministries (FFM). (http://www.freshfire.ca/index.php)

This latest news quoted from above is only one of the many articles posted by Christian media, ministers and individuals on the web.

I'm saddened by both the hostility and complacency of some of these articles.

I simply urge you to pray specifically:

That Todd Bentley repent of this sin and that his marriage would be restored.

That the Lord would strengthen and encourage Shonnah Bentley during these difficult times.

That those that have been hurt, dismayed and/or confused would begin to forgive and heal.

May the Lord continue to be Gracious and Just!

-- All in the Name of Jesus.